It’s that time of year again. The pool floats slide to the clearance rack, the crayon displays bloom at the front of every store, and mamas everywhere start counting down the days. And every year somebody asks me the same question: “Do homeschoolers even do back to school?”

Oh, honey. Sit down. Let me tell you about my addiction.

Back to school is a marketing term (and it works on me)

To me, “back to school” has become more of a marketing term than any actual preparation for school to start. Teachers, parents, and students spend weeks — and usually more money than they should — buying school supplies and new clothes for the upcoming year. The department stores caught on long ago, and the sales get bigger every summer. It’s gotten to the point that it warrants an entire sales-tax-free week just to help parents save a little money.

And those school supply sales? Oh. My. Goodness, do they play right into my unnatural obsession — fine, slight addiction — to school and art supplies. I must say, it doesn’t help much when it comes to my otherwise nearly perfect marriage. The #UnsurpassableHubby and I definitely don’t see eye to eye on this subject. It usually ends with me grinning like the Cheshire cat over the loot I get to add to my stockpile while he stands by with the typical, logical questions: “Do you really think you need all of this?” “Where are you planning on storing all of this?” “We could have spent that money on something more useful.”

I usually try to blame the kids — of course they’ll need all of it for the coming school year. After all, I did grow each and every one of these little human beings inside my body for 39 weeks. They can take one for the team, right? Then he has to go and remind me that we homeschool, and that we spend more of our day doing hands-on experiments and projects than we do traditional “busy work.”

The first day of school, homeschool edition

Some students are genuinely excited for the first day. The perfect outfit picked out, supplies packed and ready, up hours earlier than necessary making sure their hair and backpack are ready to be shown off. New teachers, new friends, maybe even a whole new school.

Then you have my kids, rolling out of bed around 10 AM like it’s any other day — because for us, it is. Messy hair, pajamas at the breakfast table, having to be reminded to do their chores, brush their teeth, and get dressed. If it were up to them, they’d lounge around in their PJs watching television and playing video games all day. That, for the record, is not happening.

Although we homeschool, we still offer a bit of “normalcy” — if anyone can pinpoint what that’s supposed to be. We still go clothes shopping. We definitely still go school supply shopping. After all, who am I to turn down twenty-five-cent boxes of crayons or ten-cent notebooks?

What a homeschool family actually buys

For what it’s worth, here’s what actually gets used at our table, six kids deep:

• Paper, pencils, and crayons in bulk — the cheap-sale stuff is exactly what you want, because they will get destroyed.
• Art supplies over worksheets. Paint, glue, tape. Hands-on beats busy work at our house every single time.
• A couple of good notebooks per kid — one for whatever they’re currently obsessed with, because that obsession IS the curriculum half the time.
• Printer ink. Nobody warns you. I’m warning you.

And if you’re in Florida, the tax-free week usually lands in late July or early August — stack it with the loss-leader sales and stock the whole year for the price of one public-school supply list.

So yes, homeschoolers do back to school. We just do it in pajamas, at a discount, on our own schedule — which, come to think of it, is the whole point.

Want the honest version of homeschool life in your inbox? Join the Front Porch — my Sunday letter.